


Tame the Wild Beast

by To-Antigone (SnowedIn14)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Inspired by a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowedIn14/pseuds/To-Antigone
Summary: A prompt boiling down to: Tobirama adopts Kagami. Peace ensues.
Comments: 27
Kudos: 389





	Tame the Wild Beast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KeanBlade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeanBlade/gifts), [Master_Torch_Master](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Master_Torch_Master/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Rabbits of Caerbannog](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250373) by [KeanBlade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeanBlade/pseuds/KeanBlade). 



> A gift to Master_Torch_Master and KeanBlade. Hopefully this fulfills what you wanted to see! Taken from this https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600066/comments/278252659 as a prompt by Master_Torch_Master to KeanBlade.   
> "I'm seeing a bby!Kagami somehow being in the middle of some random tense ceasefire on the battlefield, only to suddenly slip and slide right into Tobirama and proceeds to tear up. And Tobirama promptly switches to motherhen mode with the surrounding Senju wearing looks of resigned "oh crap" to the murderous alarm and slight confusion of the Uchiha. And when Hashirama cautiously says "...Tobirama?" Tobirama primly pulls Kagami into his arms and tells Hashirama to start peace talks officially since he refuses to kill any of his new son's relatives and then, in the spirit of that one meme, dutifully informs the exhausted by dread and horror Senju that should a hair be out of place on his new son's head he will kill everyone in the vicinity and then possibly himself. And to the Extreme WTF of the Entire Uchiha clan, marches off with Kagami, gently asking what he would like to eat for dinner and whether he would like fur or cloth for his bedding. And Kagami, being a toddling cinnamon roll who is a surprisingly fantastic judge of character for a very young child, rolls with it."

A`~`~`~A

Alright. Despite meeting up and temporarily joining forces with four other clans (including the Uchiha), they'd successfully tracked down the kidnappers, battled their way into the fortress, and retrieved the stolen children, who were fortunately more traumatized, hungry, and tired, than physically harmed. Hashirama was counting this as a major success so far.

They'd even peacefully managed to return the children to their respective clans. Mostly. There were still the Senju and Uchiha children somewhat awkwardly clinging to each other in the middle of the field. Apparently they had bonded during captivity, and knowing that this was likely the last time they'd ever see each other outside of battle, were kicking up a fuss. Uchiha children were spitting fireballs willy-nilly, and Tobirama had been forced to put out four fires already. The Senju children (who had been unfortunately well trained by Tobirama) were using a rather disconcerting amount and range of jutsu. Many Uchiha were forced to use their Sharingan just to avoid getting caught in some trap or another, and the Senju were staying well back out of experienced paranoia. Shouldn't they be drained of chakra and energy at this point?

"All right, that's enough of this," Hashirama heard his brother mutter, then watched as he stalked up to the group. It was actually a good choice, since the Senju would hesitate to attack their favorite teacher, and he could easily counter a fireball without causing damage. He stood before the group, who were now…aww, crap. Lots of pouting. Hashirama sniffed sadly. It wasn't his fault! He was trying to get peace!

"It's very impressive how you've all cooperated to keep the adults from separating you," started Tobirama. He sounded impressed, and the children bloomed under his attention.

Then IT happened.

A tiny Uchiha, four at the oldest, was accidentally jostled to the front of the group- and fell. Right at Tobirama's feet.

This was the final straw for the toddler it seemed, who didn't even blink before the tears started, wailing loudly, the child's arms reaching up in universal toddler language for 'comfort now!'

"Tobirama? Brother?" There was still a chance, he thought to himself.

Tobirama on his end didn't even hesitate. Up the child went into his arms. Into his heart. Hashirama could clock the exact moment Tobirama imprinted on the child. He sighed deeply. This was echoed by many other Senju.

"It was only a matter of time, really," said Touka, her voice definitely amused. Hashirama pouted. He'd definitely lost the bet.

Tobirama for his part was making…cooing noises. And gently rubbing the child's back as he swayed slightly from side to side.

"Tobirama sensei! That's Kagami! He doesn't have any parents!" Declared a young voice. Hashirama groaned. The adoption papers were all but signed at this point. He shuffled around his pouches- he'd been prepared for the moment his brother managed to get a sprout of his own to keep, and so had always kept a set of adoption papers on hand. Yes, even on a battlefield.

"I see," was all Tobirama said. He straightened himself up, and glared around the field. Not at the children, of course (obviously), but the adults. The Senju, the Uchiha, and the few remaining from the other clans involved in this whole fiasco.

"Anija, this is my son," declares his precious little brother, "I have known Kagami for all of five minutes. But I swear to you, if anything happened to hurt this child, I would kill every shinobi on this field and then myself."

With that, he gives a firm look to the kids watching with awe.

"Return to your parents. I am sure that Anija will correct the situation shortly enough. After all," Tobirama adds, "it would be bad form to kill my son's relatives."

With an expectant look, Tobirama walks back towards the Senju lines, pulling out a spare copy of an official Ceasefire with the Uchiha and handing it to Hashirama.

Oh.

OH!

Hashirama grins towards the Uchiha, who now (to a man) have their Sharingan spinning in shock. Hashirama bounces up to Madara, and hands him the papers. Madara takes them numbly. Ha! Now it was their turn to be traumatized and terrorized by Tobirama. Not that Hashirama didn't love his brother to bits, oh, no. He was just…very intimidating when he got determined about something.

"Does…does this happen often?"

"Shouldn't we like, stop him or something?" Asked a few bewildered Uchiha. Touka laughed, and Senju Akio gave them a pitying look.

"You saw him with the kidnappers, right?" He asked. "And you want to directly challenge him for his own kid? Are you actively trying to die?"

The flooded ruins of the fortress are currently filled with some sort of cannibalistic fish. They aren't Tobirama's summons. Hashirama doesn't know where they came from, or how Tobirama transported them there. But after acting as a one-man battering ram, dismantling their warding talismans, carrying multiple children out of the fortress, and then creating a literal river of blood as he was also tearing down a watchtower- that was actually a pretty stupid question.

"Tobirama is a bit stubborn!" He chirped instead. No need to insult anyone's intelligence. That was basic diplomacy, right?

Tobirama was moving slowly, so as not to jostle or distress his passenger. They could faintly hear him asking what Kagami's favorite foods were, and if he wanted any pets.

"Kagami will be fine!" It's just the rest of us who won't be if Tobirama senses a threat to his new son. "Sign here, please!"

Madara takes the pen thrust at his nose, and signs. He still looks a bit dazed. Hashirama tilts his head. He doesn't recall Madara getting hurt.

"Everything all right?"

Madara grunted.

"Just never seen your brother like that," he muttered. "Gentle, I mean." Beside him, Izuna looked like he'd been hit over the head. Maybe something had happened?

"He gets that way. Kids, you know?"

"No, we don't," muttered an Uchiha behind Izuna.

"Actually while we're here, you might as well sign this as a witness," Hashirama continued, thrusting the adoption papers at his old friend, "particularly since Kagami is a Uchiha."

"This is already almost completely filled out," Madara stated.

"Obviously," replied Hashirama, Touka, and Akio in unison.

"Tobirama has been trying to collect kids for years, we were all really just waiting until one stuck," Touka said, shrugging in a way that looked more like flexing. Or maybe she was just flexing. Hashirama averted his eyes. Trust Touka to take advantage of a ceasefire to practice flirting techniques.

Ignoring the flirting and the mutterings, Hashirama stared wide-eyed at Madara, who took a deep breath and signed the paper.

"Fine! Here!" Hashirama took back the adoption papers and the Ceasefire, and waved them triumphantly above his head.

"We did it!" He cheered.

"At the cost of my future sanity," moaned Akio. "There's going to be two mad scientists running around the compound now, just you wait." He was completely ignored by Hashirama.

Peace was on its way! He carefully put the papers away, like his wife and brother always scolded him to, then pounced on Madara.

"Thank you!" He crowed. "Tobirama will be pleased to hear it went well. When do you want to meet for peace talks? I've got dozens of plans that Tobirama drew up for our village. Do you want to see them now?"

Madara still looked a bit dazed.

"Your brother is…something else," Izuna said slowly. Madara nodded.

Hashirama squinted at them, then decided it wasn't an insult.

"He is. It's one of the reasons we love him." Hashirama clapped his hands together. "Right! Now that that's all settled, children! Say goodbye for today, but we'll meet up again soon. Be sure to remind your parents and your elders that you want to see your friends very soon, okay?" He smiled at them, and used his Mokuton to grow some flowers for them. Was it a little bit underhanded to use the children? Sure. But Tobirama had handed him Peace on a silver platter, he was going to grab it with both hands. Slowly the children parted from each other, lots of hugs and tears involved before they all trundled off to their clans.

"It's been good fighting alongside you, Madara," said Hashirama, "let's do it again sometime! For now though, I've got to go make sure none of the elders do something stupid to get themselves killed." He smiled widely at his friend, but didn't really move.

"Didn't you need to go?" Asked Madara. "The elders?" He prompted.

"Yes! Definitely." Hashirama didn't move, just grew a tree with a low branch and sat down. Touka joined him a little higher up.

"Right. That's- okay. Goodbye, then?" Said his friend. Hashirama waved.

"Bye! Take care!" Then settled in for a nap, but only a short one. He didn't want to miss dinner.

A`~`~`~A

"There are quite a few openings in the Elder Council, Anija," greeted Tobirama that evening, a freshly bathed Kagami wrapped up in a soft fur. Hashirama smiled at his new nephew.

"I'll look over replacement suggestions tomorrow morning, then," he agreed. He pulled a candy from his pocket, and handed it to the child. "Just one for now, I don't want to spoil your dinner," he said. Tobirama watched him in approval.

"Mito made some of your favorites," he informed Hashirama. "And quite a few of mine. Kagami doesn't really have a favorite food yet, so we're trying to find something he loves."

"Really? Well, Kagami-kun, let us know what you enjoy eating tonight. Okay?" His nephew gave a big smile, then ducked his head back under Tobirama's chin. Adorable.

Tobirama turned to go inside, then pulled his brother into a half-hug.

"Good work today, Anija," he said, then walked away. Hashirama felt the plants around him blossom in joy. With that, everything was worth it. Even the extra paperwork replacing the elders would cause. He practically floated as he cleaned up for dinner, and then sat down at the table, Tobirama pointing out dishes and explaining them to an attentive Kagami. What a precious little brother he had.


End file.
